A Gratitude List to Counteract negativity

I’m thankful for corners, right angles, 180s, 360s, 720s, and on.

I’m thankful for sunglasses when the suns out, board games when the clouds are out, cold beer, cold coke, cold hands in warm water.

I’m thankful for baths, hot tubs, Jacuzzi’s and nudity, for sex, masturbation, and looking at myself naked in the mirror and not immediately hating myself.

I’m thankful for the idea of comic books, moonlight, trophies that you don’t have to keep and clutter your room with, but just an affirmation that you were noticed.

I’m thankful for blogs and typos and non-judgemental people and being able to talk about depression and anxiety in every form it manifests, for being misunderstood, left out, treated poorly, neglected, and judged by pious, ignorant, afraid people, because now they have left me with an eternity of wandering I can partake in to find away to live inside this head/this skin.

I’m thankful for oxygen, starry nights, nudity, cold hands against warm, bare skin, for joyous laughter, for tears.          Oh, thank God for tears.

I’m thankful for truth and the lack there of and the philosophies and fantasies we get to tell ourselves. I’m thankful that perhaps mine can be love. I’m thankful I can get ready in 10 minutes in the morning and still feel remotely the same as I do when I take 30, except with 30 I probably took on and off an outfit a few times.

I’m thankful for little things you can keep in your pocket, for condoms, and eating lunch with friends. I’m thankful for air conditioning and bedrooms and breathing. I’m thankful for blinking, dust, and dusting.

I’m thankful for cheap movies, alcohol, and tobacco, nicotine, cigarettes, and mindfulness.

I’m thankful for loneliness, isolation, islands, and intellect, for readers and reading and books, paper, trees, and wood.

I’m thankful for the woods, Walt Whitman, Walden, and Portland. I’m thankful for trips, travel, and tickets for bus fare, shows, and movies.

I’m thankful for hands, creating, writing, reading, reading, and reading. I’m thankful for escape, masturbation, and God.

I’m thankful for Grandmas and Grandpas even though they die too quickly.

I’m thankful for present fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, for lovers, love, and non-binary sexuality.

I’m thankful for stomachs, food, nipples, backs, and glasses, for churches that love people, stain-glass windows, for different skin colors, music, and instruments.

I’m thankful for medicine, psychologists, psychiatrists, surgery, and babies.

I’m thankful for girlfriends and boyfriends and friends, and pint glasses. I’m thankful for pint glasses that have the brewery printed on them.

I’m thankful for trash, recycle, reuse, reduce and wise women, for men that love family and follow passion and keep the two balanced, for sticky notes and pens, highlighters, pencils and erasers, thankful for paint, canvas, old shoes and thrift stores, for Friday nights, Saturday nights, and Sunday mornings, for greasy food, burgers, fries, coke, pop, soda, and desert.

I’m thankful for exercise, for legs, for opiates, for marathons, peace makers, languages and the Truman Show.

I’m thankful for black and white, color, grey, green, and blue. I’m thankful for yellow, purple, favorite colors and the words of children, for old men, women.

I’m thankful for listening, talking, compassion, pretend, make believe, sci fi, friends, and family.

I’m thankful for bleeding, blood, and scabs, for running noses and soft tissue, for water, H2O, water, agua, eau, acqua, and water, for light, sunshine, sun rays, sometimes cats, dogs, and squirrels.

I’m thankful for addiction, growth, sobriety, addiction, growth, and sobriety.

I’m thankful for mindfulness, nightmares, nighttime, twilight, the north star, big dipper, long days, and holding hands. I’m thankful for soft lips, sweet kisses, purple lipstick, eyeliner, fruit punch that is served through the vagina of a mannequin and drunken nights. I’m thankful for DDs that get too drunk to drive home and so they don’t.

I’m thankful for throwing up, purging, vomiting, getting sick from something you drank or took or combinations of any and all things. I’m thankful for falling asleep under a porch light on a lawn chair during a warm summer night, where no blanket is needed. I’m thankful for moments that introduce themselves as moments of shame that can be viewed differently, as in, “I’m just eccentric and transcendent,” or at the very least this is an opportunity to learn and grow.

I’m thankful for people, even those that laugh “at” or stand to the side when a helping hand is needed, because I or you or them got themselves into too much of a pickle to dig themselves out on their own. I’m thankful especially for them, because we all have to have a moment that we look back on where we thought, “I could have done more,” or at the very least, “I could have done something,” and this propels us to have eyes open for that next moment like that even though it may never come, even though those moments are daily.

I’m thankful for self-love, self-relaxation, self-dreaming, self-loving, self-believing, self-freeing. I’m thankful for the self and while we can learn and grow and grain so much empathy and perspective, we will only live within our own bodies in this lifetime. I’m thankful for change, evolution, and how the human spirit is ever growing even if the mind has fallen asleep for the past decade on the sofa.

I’m thankful for sermons, for thinking, for pastors, priests, blasphemers, prophets, and poets. I’m thankful for metaphysical, invisible, spiritual, hyper-critical, questioning, because it is to my belief that there is more to us than work and a decaying body.

I’m thankful for love, for forgiveness, for the utmost wrong being let go so both me and whomever can be freed up. I’m thankful for justice and accountability and truth.

I’m thankful for peace that passes all understanding, for breath and breathing.

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