Musings on a Grey Heart

I get up this morning, thinking I will work very hard

These shackles from past stories keep me caged like an animal

I fight fire with fire, burn bright in spite of life’s desire

To put my little flame out.

These chains wrapped around my back are clues to my lack of freedom

This free doom, this perpetual lack of room

Sirens and flashing lights

I’m afraid of missing out or getting left behind

I look at distance and track it on the map and wonder

If this move will kill me too

I don’t stay put because I am afraid to

I don’t stay put

I am a furnace and a engine, burning as bright as the sun

I am an eagle on a mission to find God’s only son.

Has my only mission become trying not to lose the Jupiter within my heart?

Has self preservation become my only intention?

Has the protection of that that is dearest to me become my sole obsession?

I look upon crowded streets and fail to see my face in the people I meet

And wonder if there is love present in this heart of mine


If perhaps there is only fear.

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