For Mothers

I sit in the back seat

Writing as the car jostles

And turns, veering in and out

Of traffic, I look up and see

You looking at me from the

Rear view mirror. I let out

A bitter smile that holds only

Sadness. You smile one back

that says get well soon. I hate

myself when I’m depressed. I

Often feel like I am stumbling

Through life being led by those

I deem worthy to know my

Sharp points. Her and you are

Singing, dancing, but I don’t

Know how and that’s not self-

Pity. It’s just honesty. Somewhere

along the lines I forgot how to

Move. I became my father. Good

Posture. Sit still with your hands

In your lap. No, no, no, good boys

Don’t do that. I can feel the tears

That lie constantly behind my eyes

Well up and threaten to spill, but

Even they are not able to fall any

Longer, because I too have forgotten

How to mourn.

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