Processes

Oh I need you to tell me

Tell me

Tell me, tell me,tellmetellmetellmetellme

No no no

Can’t ask yet again

You tell you

But I need that outside

You’ve had the outside

Now you need the inside

But I’ve had both from the outside

Both yes and no

I know what I know I think is right

But what if I’m wrong

What if I’m corrected

Of you smarten up to

Cultural expectations

And something that was once

Fickle and petty

Is now a must and important

 

I think I’ve always been scared

Of being lesser

No I’ve been scared of being unloved

And that holds roots and stretches into everything

So I think being not able to be loved because I am

Lessor is just an aspect of the bigger picture

I want the reminder that

Oh nononononononoonononoonononoonon

You are so loved

But then there is the fact that I am

Either the same or less than

I’m less than at shoulder range

So it comes across as less than all together

But we saw the photo

Our heads were aligned

IDK

It doesn’t bother me

Unless it bothers you.

That’s the trigger

If someone is bothered by something

That immensely makes me me

That I have no control over

Something that says

You are wonderful

You are loved

But if this were a little different

I’m love you more

 

That’s a hard pill to swallow.

It’s funny, I mean shitty

How there are all these little particles

Streaming through space

Trying to punch their way through

Our souls

Our psyche

Our hearts

To say you would deserve to be so fully loved

If you didn’t do ______

If you weren’t _______

If you were ______

But that would be conditional love

A false thing based on fear

That tries to mirror its counter part

Because the truth is

If someone can’t love me because of

X, Y, and Z

That will not affect how I love me

And with unconditional love

That shouldn’t effect how I love them

I think it effects intimacy

And the growth people can have

IDK

I’m no love expert

So I’ll change shoes

If there was something about you

I did not like

Oh idk

Was that something that used to make or break it?

Hmmm what is something that would make or break it for me?

Idk I guess we are both past the fickle

SO I suppose the only thing that would make it or break it

Is if someone couldn’t love me for me

For absolutely me

I’ll do that for you

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