I don’t think anyone takes me serious as a drug addict anymore.
I hold the pipe to my mouth
Fuck it! I’ll do it. Don’t believe me?
It’s like I’m to far removed, too sober.
I don’t like that. It’s like I’m becoming too plastic, too formed.
I like to be a bit grungy.
Can you see the powder in my nose?
They used to. I think I used to think people thought I was cool
For the ecstasy,
The loratabs and xanax
Oxys and mollys.
We all smoked pot.
I would pride myself on the fact that I would put any chemical in my body.
Mix me up a concoction from beneath your sink
I’d drink it.
I felt like a god.
Until I started loosing weight.
Until I couldn’t get a job.
Until I spent my last dollars on a shitty joint.
Until my ribs started sticking out
And my drug dealer broke my nose
And I was one step away from fucking and sucking my way to my next fix.
Sometimes the things I miss
Have a lot more shit behind the curtain.